If you’ve found this blog, you’re probably struggling with your little one’s sleep. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve googled everything, asked ChatGPT and had advice from everyone and their mother.
Trying to find the right sleep consultant can feel overwhelming, with so many of us out there saying we can help. I get it. I trawled through loads of sleep accounts thinking I could do it myself, and of course nothing worked. So here are the things I’d check when choosing a sleep consultant.
Currently, the sleep space is unregulated. This means that anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant, when actually they may have no experience or any idea of the science behind sleep itself. Of course this can add to the anxiety of choosing a sleep consultant.
Check their qualifications
Sleep consultancy isn’t regulated in the UK, so anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant. Ask what training they’ve done and who it was with.”
Do not feel shy or intimidated in asking this question. It's so important to ensure that the person you're using is accredited. I hold a Level 6 OCN in Sleep Consultancy, and you’ll find me on the Holistic Sleep Coaching “Find a Coach” directory. You can even ask your sleep coach for a copy of their certificate if you're concerned.
Check their method fits how you parent
Check that their method fits with how you parent and what you're comfortable with. If crying is really triggering for you, look for a consultant who only uses responsive methods, so any changes happen with you right there supporting your baby.
Lots of sleep consultants promise outcomes, such as sleeping through the night in three nights, or whatever it might be. It's so difficult to state this, as every baby is different. These sleep consultants often won't consider your baby's temperament. Some babies find change harder than others and one method may work better than another depending on your baby's personality.
Some sleep consultants use fully responsive methods. This means you're fully supporting your baby through each change. Some consultants may use non-responsive methods, so it's really important that you choose a consultant that fits in with your values.
Check what’s included
Another thing to look out for is what else is included. Is there follow-up support? Are the plans clear? How long is the support for? Are there any limits to the wrap-around support? What happens if your baby hasn't improved their sleep by the time the plan has finished?
A few good questions to ask on a discovery call:
What does your follow-up support look like?
How do you choose what method to use?
What happens if my baby is ill?
For me, good support doesn't stop the second the plan lands in your inbox. It means being available if something changes mid-plan, checking in without you having to chase me, and adjusting things if what we tried isn't working rather than leaving you to figure it out alone.
Watch for red flags
A sleep consultant who thinks the same plan will work for every baby
Guaranteeing they can make your baby sleep within unrealistic time frames
Not asking you many questions about your specific situation
Coming across very salesy
What I wish I’d known before I started looking
Okay, real talk. When I was looking for a sleep consultant, I didn't actually look. A few accounts popped up in my feed, I started following them, tried a few things they said. Ended up going with someone who had a huge following and loads of glowing reviews, purely because that was the account I happened to stumble across. Zero research. None.
I had no idea holistic and gentle sleep support was even a thing. Genuinely didn't know it existed. All I'd ever heard of was sleep training, wake windows, regressions, that was it, that was the whole world as far as I knew. And shock horror, none of it worked for us. If you follow my page you already know exactly how I feel about all three of those now, so I won't bore you with it again here.
But here's the thing I really wish someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and told me: there's more than just the two options. When you're that tired and googling at 3am, it feels like your only choices are keep going as you are, or cry it out. Nobody tells you there’s another way: responsive changes that actually work, without leaving your baby to cry.
I wish I'd known there's no such thing as a bad sleep association, just an unsustainable one. Feeding to sleep, rocking, contact napping, none of that is "wrong." It only becomes a problem when it stops working for you, not because some account online says it should.
I wish I'd known my own state was allowed to matter too. If you're running on fumes, a good consultant should care about getting you through the next couple of nights, not just be focused on the baby.
And honestly, I wish I'd trusted my gut a bit more instead of just going with the first thing that landed in front of me. If you're in the middle of that search right now, you are not doing it wrong. It's genuinely such a hard thing to figure out from the outside, especially when you don't even know what you don't know yet.
Why this matters to me
So why did I set Little Willow up the way I have? Honestly, because I've been the exhausted mum googling at 2am, trying everything, wondering why nothing was working. I know what it's like to be desperate for sleep and terrified of getting it "wrong."
That's why everything I do is fully responsive. No cry-it-out, ever. But that doesn't mean doing nothing either, there's a middle ground, and that's where I work. I also believe your state matters just as much as your baby's. A plan can't work if you're too exhausted and anxious to follow it, so that gets looked at too, not just the sleep.
And I'll always tell you the truth, even when it's not what you want to hear. No guaranteed time frames, no miracle promises. Just an honest, realistic plan built around your baby and your family.
One more thing. If a consultant offers a free discovery call, that's usually a good sign. It means they want to actually understand your situation before they hand you a generic plan and take your money. I'll never sell you something without knowing what's really going on for you and your baby first.
If any of this sounds like what you've been looking for, I'd love to chat.
Book a free discovery call and let's talk about what's actually going on with your little one's sleep.
