I don't use the word regression. Not with my clients, not in my content, not ever. And I want to tell you exactly why, because I honestly think it's one of the most unhelpful words in the parenting world.
The problem with the word
Regression means going backwards.
Think about what that does to you when you're already exhausted. Your baby was finally settling more easily. You were starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then the nights fall apart again, and someone tells you it's a regression. Arghhh, not helpful!
Because it doesn't just describe your baby's sleep. It tells you that all your hard work can be undone overnight. That you can do everything right and still end up back at square one.
What's actually going on
Your one-year-old is going through SO much right now.
They're learning to walk, or already toddling about and seeing everything in ways they've perhaps not seen it before. They're soaking up words like a little sponge. Their world is getting bigger every single day, and at night their brain is busy sorting through it all. No wonder they're waking up!
More development often means more broken sleep. That's not regression, that's progression! Your baby's brain is doing exactly what it's meant to do.
And then there's separation anxiety. It often starts from around 8 or 9 months and can peak around their first birthday. Your baby knows you still exist when you leave the room, and they know you can leave. That's a lot for a little person to get their head around, especially in the dark.
So when your baby wakes at midnight and reaches for you, that's not a sleep problem. That's them saying "where's my safe person?" Same baby, same nights, just a completely different way of looking at it.
What this means for you right now
Here's the good news. You haven't caused this, and you haven't made it worse. Your little one is going through a massive stage, and their sleep is just showing it.
Giving them a bit of extra reassurance right now usually works better than fighting it. And no, you're not making a rod for your own back by being there!
But that doesn't mean you have to just grin and bear it. If the nights have been like this for weeks and you're running on empty, you don't need more patience. You need some support.
Getting support doesn't work against your baby
This is the bit I really want you to hear.
Gentle, responsive sleep support at this age won't add to your baby's anxiety. A good plan looks at everything: their development, the separation anxiety, your feeding relationship and what your nights actually look like. Then it works with your baby, not against them. It's about helping them feel safe enough to settle, not scaring them into it.
And you don't have to wait it out for months just because someone told you it's a phase!
So if your nights have fallen apart and someone's called it a regression, try thinking of it this way instead. Your baby isn't going backwards. They're in the middle of something huge, and so are you.
Whenever you're ready, I'm here.
Book your free discovery call and let's talk about what's going on with your little one's sleep.
